Unveiling the Silent Struggles of High-Achieving Women with Anxiety
- Devaion White
- Oct 29
- 4 min read
October often feels like the season of masks—not just the Halloween kind, but the ones women wear every single day. The polished LinkedIn profile. The flawless makeup. The calendar so full it looks like a badge of honor.
On the outside, it looks like success. On the inside? It’s chaos, self-doubt, and exhaustion.
High-functioning anxiety is when anxiety doesn’t look like anxiety.
As a mother, a student, and a woman still finding balance myself, I know firsthand how easy it is to pour into everyone else and forget to leave space for our own needs. But how can you pour into others if you're not pouring into yourself?
In this article, we're going to focus on what anxiety is, what it can look like, and ways you can find peace in the chaos of life.
What Is the Silent Struggle Behind Anxiety?
Many women, especially women of color navigating spaces that weren’t built for them, carry silent battles that don’t fit the stereotypical picture of anxiety. Instead of panic attacks or avoidance, it shows up as:
● Perfectionism: rewriting an email five times before hitting send.
● Overachieving: taking on extra projects at work so no one can question your worth. Over-preparing for small things, like printing three copies of a presentation “just in case,” or rehearsing introductions before a meeting.
● Imposter Syndrome: hearing praise but feeling like you’ve fooled everyone.
● Constantly fidgeting: tapping a pen, bouncing a leg, picking at your nails, while insisting, “I’m fine.”
● Talking faster than usual, almost as if your words are trying to catch up to you
r racing thoughts.
These are not quirks. They’re signals. The body is speaking, even when the mouth says, “I’m good.”
These traits get rewarded—promotions, compliments, the constant reassurance: “You’re so reliable.”
But behind the applause is a heart racing at 2 a.m., a brain stuck in loops of self-doubt, and a body carrying tension like armor.
Find Ground in the Chaos For High-Achieving Women
One way to unmask anxiety is through journaling. Try splitting a page into two columns:
● Visible Battles: what the world sees (showing up early, smiling, achieving).
● Hidden Battles: what you actually feel (stomach knots, self-doubt, exhaustion).
When you see the gap on paper, it becomes harder to dismiss the weight you’ve been carrying. It’s a powerful reminder that the invisible deserves care, too.
Therapy often introduces grounding techniques that sound simple but feel like lifelines. One of the most underrated is using a grounding object. Something small you can carry to anchor yourself in anxious moments.
It might be:
● A smooth stone you keep in your pocket.
● A bracelet that reminds you of strength.
● A piece of fabric you rub between your fingers.
When your thoughts start sprinting toward worst-case scenarios, that object becomes a reminder: You are here. You are safe. You are enough.
Helpful Resources
Here are a few resources that can help you feel supported and seen as you navigate anxiety:
● 🎧 Podcast: Therapy for Black Girls: Session 38: Slaying Your Anxiety This episode breaks down what anxiety can look like and offers strategies for managing it in everyday life. Listen free on Spotify.
● 📖 Book: The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins A powerful guide to letting go of control and freeing yourself from the pressure of people-pleasing. It’s a refreshing reminder that peace often comes when we release what we can’t control. Find it on Amazon.
● 📱 App: Insight Timer A free meditation app with thousands of guided practices, calming music, and short talks to help you reset when anxiety spikes.
The Quiet Invitation
If you see yourself in these words, this is not a call to push harder or cover it better. It’s an invitation to pause. To listen. To admit that sometimes the strongest women are the ones carrying the heaviest silent battles.
October may be the month of masks, but you deserve spaces where you don’t have to wear one. Therapy can be that space.
Let's Stay Connected
Thank you for taking the time to read and reflect with us. If this post resonated with you, the team at Perfectly Imperfect Counseling Services and EmpowerHer Society invites you to stay connected and share with a person who may need it.
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Stay in touch on social media, too! ✨ Follow EmpowerHer Society on Instagram @theempowerhersociety ✨ Connect with founder Jennifer Nicole on Instagram @sheisjennifernicole or on LinkedIn Jennifer Nicole Brown.
Disclaimer
The resources mentioned in this post are shared because they could be helpful and have been found personally valuable by the team. Perfectly Imperfect Counseling Services is a therapy practice dedicated to providing compassionate, trauma-informed therapy for women and teen girls. EmpowerHer Society was created as a space for community, self-love, empowerment, and balance.
Other than these programs, the practice is not affiliated with the resources listed and does not receive compensation for sharing them. They are provided solely for informational purposes to support personal growth and well-being. Readers are encouraged to explore them and decide if they align with their needs.
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