Summer didn't come to play this year. From May through now, it's been nonstop. Celebrations, family events, road trips, therapy sessions, business responsibilities, wife and motherhood duties, and trying to carve out moments for myself in between it all. I've been everything from an entrepreneur to a therapist, personal chef, maid, "Uber" driver to my teen with a summer job, wife, and mom. And as much as I love the people I love, I'm tired. I didn't crash. Why? Because I'm used to moving like this and that's exactly what made me pause.

Recognizing Survival Mode Before It Takes Over

I realized early in the summer that I was operating in survival mode, and that awareness alone is a form of growth. For years, I didn't even recognize it. Like many high-achieving Black women, I believed that my ability to persevere meant I was okay. But I've been learning to tune into my body and nervous system, especially through somatic practices or body-based stress relief that I work on in session once a client feels safe enough to sit in their experience/body. That work helped me recognize the signs sooner: shallow breathing, irritability, always being "on," and feeling tense.

Survival mode reflects a chronic state of nervous system dysregulation, often triggered by ongoing stress or trauma. It may show up as feeling always on edge (hyper-vigilance), emotional numbing, anxiety, depression, or difficulty staying present. Survival mode is your nervous system's way of protecting you, but over time, it becomes exhausting and unsustainable.

Understanding Your Internal System: Why Your Body Knows

I’ve learned that our bodies often know something’s wrong before our minds do. We all have different parts of ourselves that show up in different ways, and sometimes those parts speak through our bodies first.

You’ve probably felt a knot in your stomach when you were nervous, or “butterflies” before something exciting. That’s not random. Your brain and your body are always talking to each other, and your body will often send the first warning signs.

Here are a few examples of how stress can show up in your body:

• The worried part of you might make your stomach feel tight or upset.

• The protective part might make your shoulders tense when you don’t feel safe.

• The overloaded part might cause shallow breathing or headaches when you’ve got too much on your plate.

• The always-on-alert part might give you a headache from constantly scanning for problems.

• The people-pleasing part might give you that jittery, fluttery feeling when you’re trying to keep everyone happy.
  

If any of these are stepping on your toes, keep reading, because the numbers tell a powerful story:

• About 6 out of 10 working women in the U.S. and Canada feel stressed on a daily basis, according to the American Psychological Association’s Stress in America survey.

• 76% of adults say stress affects their health, causing headaches, fatigue, anxiety, or sadness.

  
  

When you put it all together, the message is clear: you’re not imagining it and you’re definitely not the only one feeling this way.

3 Best Ways to Get Out Of Survival Mode (Right Now)

When your body is telling you it's stuck in survival mode, here are three simple activities that can help calm your nervous system down. These aren't magic fixes, but they're tools you can use anywhere, anytime. Use this checklist to make sure your body and mind stays calm and collected.

1. 4x6 Breathing: Slow Down Your Racing Mind

   This breathing technique helps tell your nervous system "we're safe now."

   
   

   How to do it:

   • Breathe in slowly through your nose for 4 counts (1-2-3-4)

   • Breathe out slowly through your mouth for 6 counts (1-2-3-4-5-6)

   • Repeat this 5-10 times

     
     

Why it works: When you're stressed, your breathing gets quick and shallow. By making your exhale longer than your inhale, you're telling your body's alarm system to calm down. It's like hitting a reset button on your nervous system.

2. Neck Rolls: Release Where You Hold Tension

   Your neck and shoulders are like tension magnets - they collect all the stress you carry.

   
   

   How to do it:

   1. Sit or stand comfortably

   2. Slowly drop your right ear toward your right shoulder (don't force it)

   3. Gently roll your head forward, bringing your chin toward your chest

   4. Continue rolling to the left side, bringing your left ear toward your left shoulder

   5. Roll back to center and repeat in the other direction

   6. Do this 3-5 times each way, moving very slowly

      
      

Why it works: When we're in survival mode, we literally carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. Gentle movement helps release that physical tension and reminds your nervous system that you can relax.

3. Orienting to Safety: Help Your Brain Feel Safe

   This technique helps your hyper-vigilant part (the one always scanning for danger) realize you're actually okay right now.

   
   

   How to do it:

   • Sit comfortably and slowly turn your head to look all the way to the right

   • Very slowly move your head from right to left, like you're watching a slow-motion tennis match

   • As your head moves, notice what you see: a picture, a plant, a window, a lamp

   • When you get to the far left, slowly scan back to the right

   • Do this gentle head movement 3-5 times, just noticing what's around you

   • Take your time, there's no rush

Why it works: When we're anxious or in survival mode, our attention goes to worrying about the future or replaying the past. This slow room scan brings you back to right now and helps your nervous system recognize that in this moment, you're safe. Your brain gets to see that there's nothing dangerous in your immediate environment. The goal isn't to feel perfect after doing these, it's just to give your nervous system a little break from the constant "go, go, go."

For the Women Who Feel This Too

You might be reading this while in the thick of your season of "doing." You're holding everyone and everything together. You're the one people call when they need a listening ear or anything else. You're showing up even when you're running low. I see you and I want you to know it doesn't have to stay like this. You can still be the powerful, loving, present woman you are, and take moments to reset, and relax.

Here's your reminder:

• You don't have to wait until things fall apart to check in with yourself.

• And survival mode isn't your final destination.

We're allowed to want more, feel more, and be present, for ourselves first!

Thank you for taking the time to read and reflect with me. If this post resonated with you, I’d love for you to stay connected! Visit my websites, Perfectly Imperfect and EmpowerHer Society, for more insights, resources, and updates on how we can navigate this journey together.

Let’s stay in touch on social media, too! Follow me on Instagram at @theempowerhersociety and @sheisjennifernicole, or connect with me on LinkedIn at Jennifer Nicole Brown.